Sweets and Non-Sweets to My Sweetheart

By Doug Kelly

Let’s play a little Valentine’s Day game. I’m going to name things that fill my head when thinking of my lovely wife, but one item in each list is a no-no. So, here we go:

Good things to smell:

1. Ocean breezes
2. Bakeries
3. Leather
4. Duck droppings

Good things to eat:

1. Stone crabs
2. Lobster
3. Duck droppings
4. Lemon meringue pie

Juicy fruits:

1. Peaches
2. Duck droppings
3. Mangoes
4. Blueberries

Okay, I think you see a pattern there and I apologize for that. So let’s move on to what my precious spouse would most like receiving on Valentine’s Day from this list:

1. A bouquet of flowers not purchased at Walmart
2. A card not purchased at Dollar Store
3. A box of chocolates not purchased at Walgreens
4. Five $20 scratch-off tickets, and who cares where they’re purchased.

A nice romantic dinner should be in order too. To which one of these favorite eateries should I take her:

1. Bob Heilman’s Beachcomber Restaurant
2. Rumba Island Bar & Grill
3. Asian Pearl
4. Wendy’s

Nearly last but not least, what comes to mind each time I see the smiling face of my darling Kelly Kelly? I herewith name just a few:

1. Blue skies to match her blue eyes
2. The scent of lilacs to match her alluring fragrance
3. The shimmer of gold to match her long hair
4. The sound of me snoring (see her blog about that!)

Last and definitely least, here are things I do NOT think of on Valentine’s Day when my lovely wife’s image comes to mind:

1. Goiters and Reuters
2. Bugs and slugs
3. Nuts and butts
4. And, of course, duck droppings and floor moppings

All kidding aside, we should be thankful everyday – not just Valentine’s Day – to enjoy the companionship of our hunny bunnies.

Feature photo by Jude Beck on UnSplash

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A Taste Bud Sensation at Bob Heilman’s Beachcomber